Friday, November 26, 2010

Sinking....in

Hello. My name is Christine. I'm 39 years old. I've been pregnant 7 times in my life. I've given birth to one son, at 33 weeks. He had 14 surgeries before he turned 3 because of Vacterl association. But now he is healthy and very, very happy. I never thought I could carry another baby to viability, let alone term. Today, I'm 39 weeks pregnant with my second son. It does not seem like he has Vacterl or any other anomalies.


I just wrote that because I never thought I would.

Today was my last day at work.

I cleaned out my office, organized my files. Found my obgyn appointment card. You know, the one with the entire pregnancy's list of appointments? I did it. I made all of the appointments.

Had my final appointment Wednesdsay. All is well.

Watched Toy Story 3 with Brody. Became complete sobbing mess at the end. I'm not allowed to watch it anymore.

Started to mourn the loss of just the two of us, Brody and me, and the three of us, Brody, Jeremy and me. Brody sandwiches, with Brody between me and J on our bed watching tv.

Then there is the utter incomprehensibility of meeting the little one inside of me right now. In.6.days. At the latest.

C-section is December 2, at 7am mst. We are at the hospital at 5am, checking in to labor and delivery.

Had some contractions Tuesday night. Nothing much though. They went away and have not returned.

We're putting up the Christmas tree this weekend. I have 4 stockings. Not putting them up until .... next weekend?

I find myself either giggling spontaneously or crying uncontrollably.

What an unfathomable, mystifying week this will be. 

2 comments:

Michele said...

Enjoy this week. I know right now you are probably wondering how you will ever love another human being as much as you love Brody. I had the same doubts before Rachel was born. Could I possibly give her as much love and attention as I did Adam? Would Adam feel cheated out of Mommy time by the baby? But guess what? Your love just magically expands, and pretty soon, you'll be having a Brody and [insert name here] sandwich! Have a wonderful birth; all of us at the RPL board are sending you prayers and positive thoughts!

Robyn said...

Mourning the loss of "just the two/three of us" was one of the hardest things for me in going from 1 to 2. I try to still have one-on-one time with Rylie, but it is difficult. The two of us are going to Disneyland on Friday, and I am excited to have the whole day together. I get a lot more Griffin-and-me time while Rylie is in preschool and I just sink in and soak up the baby love.

It will be okay. It will all work out. The universe is on your side. I can tell because God has given you not one, but TWO miracle sons.