Friday, December 5, 2008

Santa is kind of an ass

This week, J & I watched Ruldolph the Red Nosed Reindeer for the first time with Brody.

And maybe for the first time since I've started specializing in employment law.

Because I came to the conclusion that Santa is kind of an ass. And so are his reindeer.

First, Donner, as Rudolph's father, is ashamed of Rudolph's nose. That's not an employment issue, but really I think it reflects badly on Santa to have one of the famed reindeer acting so poorly toward his only, baby son. And Comet?? He leads the other reindeer in ridiculing and excluding Rudolph. Jerk.

Second, Santa only employs male reindeer. Has he even heard of Title VII?

Third, Santa is a jerk about Rudolph's nose. When Donner makes an excuse about Rudolph's nose, and says he'll grow out of it, Santa says essentially that Rudolph had better if he wants to be on the sleigh team. And until the end Santa complains about the noise that the nose makes and its glow. Santa is not celebrating differences. He is not looking at the bright side. He's acting like a mean old man. It's only when Santa realizes he can get something out of the glowing nose - a light in the fog - that he acts nicely towards Rudolph. What kind of message is that?

Fourth, Herbie (or Hermie?) the elf is a child. As it appears most of the elves are, except for the mean head elf who keeps yelling at Herbie and deriding his career choice of dentist. What kind of Santa is Santa to force a child to make toys? Isn't that called slavery? And child labor? Doesn't Santa like children? Why would he force them to make toys?

Let me say that, for all its faults, we've already watched it three more times since Tuesday. And, do you know what Brody said when he saw Herbie (Hermie) the elf for the first time?

"Pretty eyes." I checked what he said. "You think the elf has pretty eyes?"

"Yeah, pretty eyes."


Jacque said...

Okay, I'll never look at Rudolph the same way again. LOL (Phoebe calls the elves "friends".)

Dayna said...

WHOA, that is so weird you posted this! I was watching Rudolph night before last and was thinking the same thing! Also, I watched Polar Express last night and was sorta thinking it too although I have no exammples to give you for that movie. Man, we're on the same wavelength w/ this one. Santa IS kind of an ass. The title of your post made me laugh out loud too. :)

Alina said...

Isn't it awful how your favorite shows from childhood often are seen in a whole new light as an adult? I totally agree that Santa is an ass in that movie. The only one that has stood the test of time for me is the musical "Scrooge"--love that movie. At least Scrooge is SUPPOSED to be an ass. (And more than once I've found myself singing his song "people are despicable creatures, loathsome inexplicable creatures, good for nothing kickable creatures I hate people!" Especially when I'm driving.)

btw, my word verification is "waxes" and as a reader of my blog I'm taking this as a hint for what you think *I* should be doing. Well, don't hold your breath sweetie. ;)

pattinase (abbott) said...

HA! And I never noticed when you guys were watching Sesame Street that there were no female puppets. Maybe Miss Piggy when that came along but still.....

Robyn said...

And none of the Disney princesses have active mothers.

Weird, right?

Tim Masterson said...