Moments from the last two days

Things I want to remember after knowing the news about Dante....

J crying with me about Dante. J, who I've only ever seen cry about Brody, wiping away a tear as he read Dante's dad's update this morning.

J constantly asking me if I'm okay, by email, text, and spooning me in bed.

Trying to have a "moment" with Brody this morning, still sort of crying, and him telling me to hug his cookie monster instead and talking, incessantly, about the dogs, completely ignoring my tears and my "moment."

Losing my breath when I read that Dante's mom got there only 3 or 4 breaths before Dante's last one, to hold one of his hands, with Dante's dad holding his other hand, and Dante's dad touching his wife's leg, "to complete the circle."

Wanting to constantly email with my friends who I've only known online, because of IVillage, about Dante, what his parents are going through, what we are going through, how grateful we are, how terrifying being a parent is at all times, even when your child is healthy, because Dante's story could be anyone's story at any time, how much we've all cried and held our children closer this week, and this year, because of Dante.

Having one friend who lives in Denver, L, email me after the Dante news, asking me how I was, because she had a lump in her throat and she wasn't nearly as invested as me. Having another friend call me, A, that friend dealing with her own struggles around children, just so we could sit on the phone together. Then having one of my co-workers, a guy in his 50's who I didn't really know until he started reading Brody's carepage last year, just come into my office at work, sit down, with tears in his eyes, and want to talk about Dante. And then asking after Brody, making sure he was ok.

Going to the Old Spaghetti Factory last night with J and Brody, and the rest of Denver it seemed, to celebrate the prices from 40 years ago. We toasted Dante with a milk, a beer and a Sprite, but at the mention of Dante's name, Brody put his hands together to pray. Watching Brody "eat" spaghetti, with J and I laughing at him, both taking photos of him, and internalizing how truly blessed and fortunate we are.

Driving home from the OSF, me explaining to Brody that mommy wasn't leaving, but daddy was dropping me off so I could get my car, then mommy was going home, daddy was going home, and Brody was going home. Brody responding "I yike dat, mommy, I yike dat."

Thinking Brody is the master of understatement.