Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Label whore

I just thought it was a scandalous title for a post. It's really an update to label-gate from yesterday.

The pediatrician called me. He was lovely. (Although he really must be related to Harold Ramis, even his voice is like him). He said the developmental delays have to do with his hands. He said the hands fall under fine motor skills, and that's why he checked it. (He also said that Brody is beautiful. Which I knew, but I love a doc, a male doc, who can say that. I bet he says it to all his parents, and I don't care a bit, because I know when he said it about B, he really meant it).

Looking at Brody's fine motor skills, he can't dress or undress himself (yet) and he is not so good at scissors (really hard without thumb). So I guess I don't feel so bad about the label anymore. Because I (very reluctantly) acknowledge that it's (somewhat just a little) true. What bothered me about it before was that I was thinking about his gross motor skills (I am a negligent parent and just learned the difference between fine and gross today).

Does that make me a label whore? (Ahh, a tie-in to the title) But seriously, am I wimping out? Should I demand that the doctor take out the check next to developmental delay? Or take matters into my own hands and white it out myself? I already wrote in "hands" on the sheet so the teachers will know what the developmental delay references.

At this point, I feel like the teachers will see everything for themselves. They will be in the presence of this extraordinary child (my god, I am one of those parents) and learn the boy who is Brody. I could put my foot down, I suppose, but really what would it gain me? Alienation of a doc I really love, who is (technically even-though-only-a-little) correct, and for what? Brody will dazzle regardless.

And update on the layoff at J's work: we received information that, while I can't divulge, made me sleep a lot better last night. But we're still preparing, in order not to jinx.

Ok, off to work.

8 comments:

C said...

It's all okay. It's an observation, not a label. It can help the school prepare/accommodate activities for him, if they anticipate they will need to. Which they generally don't if they don't have a paper which says they should. He will progress beyond it. Thank the stars his is not a permanent delay, my good friend. Some are.

Christine said...

You make good points, my C. In other words, stop being a whiny prat and get on with the Brody dazzlement?

Greg said...

glad you have some good news! Try to avoid letting the labels stick... they don't mean crap.

Carol said...

Labels can be good and bad. When my son was diagnosed with radial club hand, it helped in that I found your blog and also in preparing for his future (he's four months old now). I think people who are truly worth knowing and working with understand the context of a label. Here's to hoping and praying that we're around more of those people than those who take them out of context!! I really love your blog.

Carol

Christine said...

Greg, your comment made me laugh. Thank you.

Carol, you are very sweet. Thank you so much for the compliment. That pretty much made my day. :-)

Jacque said...

I'm glad the pediatrician was so kind. I bet he'll think twice before checking "abnormal" again. Good for you for bringing it to his attention. The teachers will see for themselves what a special boy Brody is. Who wants to be "normal" anyway? Extraordinary should be an option on Brody's form.

aeon said...

Hey! Just wanted to give you another perspective: the hated "label" of developmental delay can get your child more services, more easily, than if it is not there. My son has severe medical disabilities, and i cannot get medicaid waiver, a para for him in camp, free schooling/camp, respite, or anything else because his IQ does not fall under the "proper" amount. Dont get me wrong, i am very happy he is a smart kid, but it would be great to have services that make our life easier, and possible for him to have something to do with his peers in the summers.
Wishing you and your family all the best,
Jackie K.

Robyn said...

I think we are all one of "those parents." However, I really think that Brody is extraordinary, so can I please be in the fan club?