What's the word I'm looking for?

Remember my dispute with my health insurance company and how they wouldn't cover the generic form of my Lovenox even though it was 1/4 the price of name brand? (aka, $50 copay every 6 days vs $10 copay every 6 days) (United Healthcare said my plan only authorized 6 days supply at a time)

Well, the next time - after my latest 6 day supply ran out - that I went to fill my prescription for Lovenox, Target told me I had to call my insurance company.

Uh-oh.

But not really.

Because now somehow I got mail order meds.

Will they send only 6 days supply at a time? And only name brand?

Let's examine the evidence that was delivered at 9am today.



Answers to the above questions: No. And no.

I just paid $10 for 60 doses of GENERIC Lovenox. (aka 30 days supply). Somehow generic IS covered by my plan. And they CAN fill more than 6 days at a time. What a miracle!!!

Asshats.

Question: what's the word for what my insurance company has been doing to me this whole time? Fleecing? Tricking? Lying?

Something stronger?


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Trying to get to Chapter 5

I'm borrowing this from Jacque. And I have determined that learning to move from chapters 1 through 4 to chapter 5 is painful.

Autobiography in 5 Simple Chapters


By Portia Nelson


Chapter One

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost .... I am helpless.

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.



Chapter Two

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend that I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe I am in this same place.

But, it isn't my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.



Chapter Three

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in ... it's a habit ... but, my eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.


Chapter Four

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.



Chapter Five

I walk down another street.

Give me strength

I had such high hopes on Friday. I had a very very good weekend. Three days.

Then Tuesday came. I know it's whiny, but here you go.

Locked myself and Brody out of the house.

While trying to access another door, drove a (probably lead based) paint chip half way undernearth my thumbnail.

Didn't settle a case. Going to trial September 20.

Daycare forgot to pick up B at preschool, so I got a million calls during court from work and preschool.

Tried the pretzel M&M's to console myself. Meh. B-. More like malt balls than pretzels and chocolate.


OH and one more thing. The geniuses who cleaned out the fridge at work on Friday (we all rotate) for some dumb reason turned OFF the fridge while cleaning it (WTF?) and then FORGOT to turn it back on. So my popsicles and my lunches for the week are kaput.
 
And...let's talk healthcare.
 
Name brand meds for the month cost my insurance company: $1600+
 
Generic meds for the month cost my insurance company: $366
 
You'd think that my insurance company,United Healthcare, would love to pay for the generic. But no. It's not on the plan.
 
I have to appeal to them to get them to save them over 75% a month on the prescription.
 
Give me strength.

My life got made

Four years ago today, my life got made.

9/1/06








9/1/10








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My blessings

Friends. I don't understand women (or men) who can live without dear friends.

In 1997, I moved to Denver. I knew my sister, and her husband, and that was it. Through my first job, I met 3 incredible friends. At the time, we were all single, all new to Denver, all new to our careers, all in our mid-20s, and full of endless energy. Since then, we've fallen in love, gotten married, and experienced the unspeakable love of being mothers; since then we've endured illnesses, loss of loved ones, fertility issues, financial hardship, family trauma, career triumphs and disasters, and things that, had we known about in 1997, we would have run away from many times over.

One of us moved out of state. Two of us work in the same building, and still never see each other. I thought maybe we had drifted apart, the 4 of us. But I've since decided that I was wrong.

This week, the one who moved out of state returned for a visit. We're in touch, on facebook and email and phone. But I hadn't seen her since .... I was pregnant with Brody. Four years ago. The four of us hadn't all been together since then.

We went to lunch. The opening line from Charlie's Angels, of all things, kept running through my head, slightly altered: Once upon a time there were four little girls who moved to Denver.....

We still think of each other as girls, and I force myself to say women, with a smile. We sat around a table, with two sons of ours in attendance, and I don't think we could stop smiling, any of us. And while everything about each of us had changed, nothing had really changed at all. We celebrate each other, support each other, encourage each other, and love each other. Regardless of distance, regardless of how often we see each other, regardless of the passage of time. The friendship is unconditional.

I think about these friends I am so blessed to have. Friends I've known since kindergarten, friends I met at the office, friends I happen to be related to, friends I've never met face-to-face but with whom I have shared the best and the worst of me. I don't know what I did to get all of these friends, but I hope I keep doing it. And the gratitude wells up in me and I cannot even express what my heart feels.

If someone forced me to count these blessings, I don't think I'd ever stop.

Silence

J & B left today for a 5 day vacation to visit family. I was weepy last night but today I said goodbye without crying. They left. And then I vomited.

I didn't go to Oregon because I have no vacation time left at work (which is awesome before taking maternity leave) and also, work has ratcheted up. Three notches.

I don't know if it's because I'm hormonal or distracted or if work really is crazy but .... this week was more than busy. Frantic? No, frenetic. I feel so disorganized and like I'm just triaging work and behind the 8 ball and this week I had to travel for work and at times in court I wanted to just not be there and it was awful and then the boys left and don't get back until Wednesday and there's SO much to do (at work) until the end of September and and and

And now, I made it through the week (pretty significant) and B leaving and I'm in the house, with the dogs, and it's.... quiet. It's more quiet than it is when they are gone for a couple of hours. Like a deep saturation of silence.

And it's ..... weird.

I didn't know what i wanted to do after work or what I wanted to eat for dinner. What the hell? So I ate brie and French bread. And eggrolls. (I am pregnant, after all). And I watched Monk.

I think I'm going to try to embrace the silence and quiet the frantic and not do anything except ....

hibernate.

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Natural killer cell test results

No spike.

Whew.

I feel like I did the after Brody's skull surgery when they said he was out and safe in recovery. Like a load is literally lifted from my shoulders and I get tingles running up and down my arms.

I meant to do this last time - here's a link to NK cells and what they are (scroll down). Here's a discussion of pretty much all of my immune issues related to pregnancy.

Next test is in a month. Then, after 28 weeks, the placenta and baby should be strong enough that any spikes in NK activity will not harm him.

I'm 23 weeks tomorrow.

I cried when I read the comments to the last post. And when two friends emailed me their own comments, I smiled and wanted to hug everyone.

What I really wanted to write after the last post, and reading that quote, and remembering the fierce confidence of my little-girl, grinning, pig-tailed self, was this: Fuck it. I'm having this baby.