Do you ever just not engage with a story or a person because, frankly, it's just too sad? I have a lot of connections to people with Vacterl children, and a lot of those people are connected to other people with sick children, and then my friends who know friends where the parents of young children are sick and.....I just can't anymore.
A little girl I followed, who had a form of Vacterl, died recently. I cried for hours over that little girl; she was within a month of Brody's age. It wrecked me, and I'm not even close with her family. I have to make a conscious decision to stop. I am subscribed to probably 10 caring bridge sites and 15 carepages. I'm friends on facebook with an inordinate amount of people who have serious illnesses in their lives. Except for, currently, one person, I just can't participate in supporting them. I unfriended a woman on Facebook because all she would post about was her dead child. I mean, I didn't know her except online, and through someone else, and she's a lovely person. But I couldn't take seeing her posts. I'm going to hell.
And it's not just illness. Tragedy too. Like a friend who has a friend whose child got run over by an ATV, or another friend's cousin is terminal and has a young child.
These are my worst fears. And I cannot stand to know about them. It brings me down to a place I don't like, and I can't process it. I think in the age of internet, so much of the information that we can access is informative and it can be life-changing. The support one can receive is awe-inspiring. But I have to protect my state of mind, right? I mean, I just cannot support and be involved with every sick person I know about. Right? Or am I bad person?
Even if it makes me a bad person, I am still limiting my exposure.