Silence

J & B left today for a 5 day vacation to visit family. I was weepy last night but today I said goodbye without crying. They left. And then I vomited.

I didn't go to Oregon because I have no vacation time left at work (which is awesome before taking maternity leave) and also, work has ratcheted up. Three notches.

I don't know if it's because I'm hormonal or distracted or if work really is crazy but .... this week was more than busy. Frantic? No, frenetic. I feel so disorganized and like I'm just triaging work and behind the 8 ball and this week I had to travel for work and at times in court I wanted to just not be there and it was awful and then the boys left and don't get back until Wednesday and there's SO much to do (at work) until the end of September and and and

And now, I made it through the week (pretty significant) and B leaving and I'm in the house, with the dogs, and it's.... quiet. It's more quiet than it is when they are gone for a couple of hours. Like a deep saturation of silence.

And it's ..... weird.

I didn't know what i wanted to do after work or what I wanted to eat for dinner. What the hell? So I ate brie and French bread. And eggrolls. (I am pregnant, after all). And I watched Monk.

I think I'm going to try to embrace the silence and quiet the frantic and not do anything except ....

hibernate.

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